First you must know that I’m fiercely independent, tell it like it is and loathe small talk and meaningless conversations...so let's cut to it! My husband and I didn’t have children until year 6 in our marriage though not for lack of trying. It would have been a couple of years sooner but God had other plans for us. Thanks to Him and modern science and a few rounds of IUI, we conceived our beautiful healthy baby girls. During those first 6 years pre babies, we both worked full time and were pretty competitive with one another as we were both in jobs where we competed to see who could earn a bigger commission check. We loved the competition and always tried to outdo one another even though our money went into the same account. It was all in fun. 😉 We loved being able to do what we wanted, when we wanted with no debt or anyone to care for but ourselves.
We always knew we wanted children, just not right out of the gate as we were young when we got married. We wanted to enjoy married life! We were active whether it was in the gym, riding 4-wheelers, playing softball and everything in between. Fast forward to the last successful fertility treatment; once that stick turned blue I was immediately grounded by my doctor as I was extremely high risk. When I say grounded, I mean I wasn’t even allowed to vacuum. My job was to grow babies. Period. For a neat freak like me, this killed me. Not that I could have done any of that anyway as I was insanely sick the entire 1st trimester. A couple of trips to the hospital to replenish fluids, not being able to hold in a sip of water….blah! I was miserable. The entire pregnancy was awful. I was NOT a happy, glowing pregnant woman. The girls were fine and there were no complications (thank the Lord!!). It was just THE most uncomfortable experience of my life. I made it to 38 weeks to.the.day.thankyouverymuch. And I’ll never do it again. 😉 I went from a career woman to full time MOMMY in the blink of an eye. Even though we always wanted kids and went through extreme measures to get them, I knew I didn’t want to be a SAHM. That’s just not me…refer to Miss Independent above.
Well guess what? I became a SAHM. Have you SEEN the cost to put TWO babies in daycare? Uh, no way. Not to mention they were so tiny and there was no one I trusted besides a small handful of people (and I mean small). It was a no-brainer that I would stay home. Oh my word, the monotony set in. You take care of two tiny humans, turn into a human milking machine, wash 16 bottles a day and Lord knows how many diapers, never ending laundry and all the other SAHM duties that apply. The first two years were a blur and thankfully, we had excellent babies. They started sleeping through the night at 2 months and have always been great sleepers and good nappers so I wasn’t really sleep deprived after 2 months. Thank you Jesus and our wonderful network too because we wouldn't have made it without them.
That 2.5 year mark? I lost my shit. I had been in a perpetual funk since the moment they were born and chalked it up to baby blues….but 2.5 yrs later? I hate to say that their birth was traumatic because that doesn’t accurately describe it; it was fast and furious and we all were healthy. Nearly 12 years later now, I am working through that with my counselor. I don’t know if I had a bad reaction to the drugs from the last minute c-section or what but I have extremely limited memories of their birth and the following days. I haven’t been the same since. That’s a story for a different day though. I hit rock bottom in April of 2013. I was a crappy wife, a horrible mom and didn’t give a crap about anything or anyone. I was going through the motions because that’s what you do, right? I remember talking to my hubby one night and I was like ‘I’m done, I don’t know what to do anymore but it can’t be this.’ I won’t bore you with the details but he made me realize I wasn’t doing anything for ME, ever. It was all babies and housework. You know, a typical mom! I didn’t have too many options since daycare still wasn’t an option, simply because of the cost. Working just to pay for daycare; no thanks! He brought to my attention that I always felt good/better when I was exercising and I hadn’t done that since the day before we found out I was pregnant. He had a point because I was in a VERY dark place and dealing with some serious postpartum depression. I did NOT want to take medication for it either (I was on so many meds with the fertility stuff I didn’t want to go on anything again) so we decided that I would try exercising first. It was about the only thing I could do that wouldn’t cost money or resort to me loading them up and taking them to the gym daycare. I had Insanity collecting dust on my shelf (from eBay, mind you!) and decided that’s what I was going to do. I had to. I had no clothes that fit anyway. I wasn’t overweight really but completely unhealthy and disgusted with myself. What’s the term??? Oh yeah, a busted can of biscuits.
So, I committed. He committed. His part? Making sure he corralled the girls for my workout times if I was unable to complete it during nap time. And he did. Thanks to his support, I did not miss a single day of that 60 day crazy program and I felt freaking amazing because it was the first time I ever completed something! I somehow got hooked up with my coach along the way and this was right when T25 was coming out. I said “hell yes” immediately…25 minutes ONLY of Shaun T everyday? Uh, sign me up! So, I bought it and joined her accountability group and quickly found myself encouraging and motivating others within the group. I was happier, motivated, feeling better and my family was getting the wife and mom they deserved.
I also started working again at my old job, in a more flexible position which allowed me to enroll the girls in Mother’s Day Out at church. We were able to hire a nanny for a few hours a day on the days the girls weren’t in MDO too. Anyway, after a little push back, I finally decided to join Team Beachbody so I could get a discount on the products I was already using. So I joined and quickly fell in love with the company, its values and its mission (KEEP READING-I am NOT a BB Coach anymore!!). For me, coaching was a way to keep me accountable and to continue to support others along their way. I never in a million years imagined I would become so passionate about it. I will say though, I NEVER felt right calling myself a coach. I had zero experience, knowledge or certifications. It always made me cringe. So much so that I decided to get Personal Training certification and then my Fitness Nutrition Coach Certification so I could properly call myself a coach and feel more confident in helping people.
In June of 2014 I quit my 'real' job to do Beachbody full time. It was the best of both worlds…I could work my own hours and be home with my girls whenever I wanted while still contributing to our income and I was kept accountable on MY journey! Win-win! It was a good idea in theory and I wouldn’t trade that experience because it did play a role in what I do today BUT, I quickly realized I could NOT continue promoting health the Beachbody way (the shakes, the ridiculously programmed workouts, the supplements, constantly ‘recruiting’ coaches). After spending countless hours pouring into certifications, my eyes were opened. I won’t bash the company but let’s say that there are far better ways of improving your health. Yes, we all start somewhere but being properly educated in the human body, how the mind works, injury prevention, rehab and so on made me realize I could NOT promote their products. It simply didn’t align with me anymore. Never mind the fact that I spent thousands of dollars and as many hours of studying to become an ACTUAL certified Coach and Trainer. To be honest, the way they promote themselves as Coaches is a slap in the face to those of us with the credentials behind our names. I said what I said.
So, I took a small detour and got on staff with a corporate gym in the Fall of ‘14. That lasted about 2 months as we lost our nanny and I realized I was once again working for someone else on their time. It was NOT a good fit for my family so I quit. In 2015 I decided to put my certifications to use and Relentless Training/Coaching was born. I have the pleasure of working out of my home, training clients on MY time. I work when I want, how I want and never miss a thing with my family. Since then it’s evolved into something I never would have imagined nor accomplished without the support and push from my husband. I’ve gone to acquire several more certifications I’m incredibly proud of and have a thriving Health Coach/Life Coach practice and as of January 2022, we own a brick and mortar gym!
My journey is ongoing and I’m constantly learning and growing as a wife, mom, coach and trainer. My mission is to help other mom’s realize that they don’t have to put themselves on the back burner just because they are moms. Being a mom is a hat I wear, just like a wife, personal trainer, coach, friend, sister, daughter, etc. I want other women to see how they too can balance it all while not sacrificing themselves and their health in the process. We need to be role models for our children and family and we can’t do that if we aren’t functioning properly. You must know, if you choose to work with me, be prepared to be supported to death, motivated, kicked in the pants and/or loved on when you need it and pushed. I love my clients something fierce and get really vested in their well being.
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